He Wrote Her Story

“Judge not, that you be not judged.
For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measure to you.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
Matthew 7:1-5 MSG

I was picking up my oldest daughter from school for a routine Dentist appointment when they told that my youngest daughter had just been in the nurse’s office. I decided right then to pick both of my girls up and I will forever be glad I did. One look at my daughter who had been in the nurse’s office and I knew she was not ok. Her eye was red and puffy, it was clear she had either been crying or the eye just couldn’t stop watering, turns out, it was both. My youngest daughter just happened to be my newest foster daughter. At this time in our relationship, she did not trust me to care for her and her english was still growing by the day. I took a look into her big brown eyes only to discover she had a large chunk of glitter in her eye. We washed her eye out and the stubborn piece of glitter would not move. It seemed to be embedded. We asked her not to rub it, but yikes, she had a tiny piece of plastic or maybe even glass in her eye! I would want to rub that out too, since rubbing it seemed like the most logical way to deal with her problem… she just kept trying to get it out. The light was hurting her eyes, she tried to rest, but could not. She was irritated with everybody, biting heads off, while simultaneously attempting to seek comfort due to her pain level. I tried to get her into an Ophthalmologist, but thanks to her insurance, we had to jump through so many hoops to get to the specialist that we so desperately needed. We are a persistent crew though and we made it happen!

This is what I learned about the human eye, what happens when something gets into the eye and how I see it in terms of the heart, in no certain order and with some eye opening observations attached. See what I did there?

You will fight to get a speck out of your eye. It hurts to have something in your eye. The eye itself will water, doing it’s very best to reject the foreign object. You will rub your eye despite your best efforts, which causes more pain, irritation and damage.
Rubbing the foreign object in causes you more physical pain than leaving it alone. The crazy thing is, you can become so irritated by the speck in your own eye that everyone and everything drives you crazy. You will lash out in an effort to fix others while having problems of your own that need addressed. It is better to take care of your own issue, than someone else’s.

Your damaged eye will water. This is the eye’s way of eliminating the problem! I was so amazed to learn how intricately created our eyes are. The moment a foreign object gets in the eye, it immediately responds with tears to flush itself. In my opinion, crying is part of the healing process. You will cry through some seasons, this is good, never bad. It is your body responding to the pain. Tears flow as you process and sort through feelings. This is normal, let your tears fall.

The eye can heal itself. It does not mean it always will and probably depends on the injury. Your eyes heal faster than skin apparently. Crazy right? Just because your eye can heal itself, it may not always properly and I would be adamant about being under a skilled Ophthalmologists care. There is only one Dr. capable of handling this particular situation properly… reminding me that only God can heal my brokenness.

You are not actually able to see what it bothering you when it is in your own eye,
unless you can take a good look in the mirror. Even then, you can still miss it. It requires a thorough examination from the Dr. and continues until the speck is located and then removed. Specks or logs can be removed and avoided with daily opening his Word and allowing God to purify your heart. There is nothing that compares to catching a glimpse of your heart through the filter of God’s word.

The eye can turn blood red and not bleed. Ew and thank God for that gift.
Everyone else may know you are not ok, but you could potentially remain blind to it. Faking it until you make it isn’t really a thing.

You will seek darkness, because the light hurts.
Did you know that when you have a foreign object in your eye, it makes you seek darkness, blurs your vision and is so excruciatingly painful that you can not function well. If the pain is bad enough, you will want to be alone. Ironically, the Ophthalmologist’s examination includes shining an insanely bright light shining directly into the damaged eye. This part of the examination continues until the speck is located, covering every angle of the eye. Light exposes what we attempt to cover in darkness. When we hurt, it is easy to withdraw and attempt to hide. Hiding in darkness and sin is not what God intended for his children. He desires that we seek Him first.

A speck in an eye treated or untreated leaves a scar.
Scars on the eye can hinder vision and cause issues with nighttime vision. Meaning, in darkness, any light shone in your direction could cause you to see differently. Basically, it obscures and distorts clear vision. Be careful, do not let scars change the way you see the world. Even at the expense of every relationship around you, you can burn it all down and still have logs to spare for a few more wildfires.

The removal of a foreign object is an intricate process. Growth doesn’t happen overnight, this requires time.
The patient must remain completely still for the Dr. to work well. Be still long enough to experience the healing power of a miracle working God.
The patient must continue to look into the light. Only the light of God’s truth can expose darkness and sin for what it is.
The patient must keep their eyes on the one thing the Dr. tells them to look at. Never look away. Keep your focus on God, he is your healer.

After removal, there are daily antibiotics to remove and protect the eye, then finally a follow-up appointment to ensure the scar is healing properly and no further treatment is needed, beyond proper care for the eye. Reminding me to allow my heart and soul to heal, to give grace and receive it too. Healing is a process, not a one stop shop.

Our experience getting to the right Dr. was nothing short of a fight. Everything that could attempt to get in our way did, but it could not stop us. We knew this one Dr. could not only diagnose, she could treat the symptoms by removing the problem. No matter how hard we tried, we kept bumping into obstacles. We waited for hours in an empty waiting room, after fighting to be seen by a pediatrician. I had to physically point out the glitter stuck in my daughter’s eye to her pediatrician. She was giving me all the possible scenarios and telling me she was fine. She even said nothing was in her eye. I lost all trust in this doctor. As a mother, I had to point out the speck in my daughter’s eye!! This was mind blowing. Not every doctor is a good doctor, not every doctor is the right doctor. Yes, sometimes we have to fight for ourselves, but never forget who conquered death. Fight the battles you must and always trust God with the process. Just like the doctor who failed to find the glitter embedded in my daughter’s eye, over the years, I have watched the church act like this. We are quick to excuse away or diagnose what we think is or is not. Saying it is in love or trying to diagnose what they do not understand. I urge you to run to the Master. He is the only one who can fix you or lead you through your problems.

The entire time we walked through this process, the Holy Spirit was working on my heart. The portal through which I view the world, my eyes, can be overcome with specks or logs while I am actively calling out another’s faults or failures. However, when I spend time with the great physician who created me, I avoid a lot of trouble, as I allow him to keep my vision focused and uncluttered. As brutal as it sounds… Matthew 5:29 says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose on of your members than that your whole be thrown into hell.”

I have come to this conclusion for myself, I do not want to be walking around with blood red eyes, unaware of my own sin and shortcomings. I will stand in His love, walk in His light and allow God to keep my vision clear and focused.